Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
kingodsucksville 18
Sleep is an amazing thing, don't interrupt it
danceinconverse 25
Wow, I'm thinking he's going to regret that when he's fully conscious. Hopefully he'll make it up to you!
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Comments (76)
mads_fml 7
I could never touch my boyfriend's privates while he's in the middle of sleep, I'd feel too presumptuous and invasive...I mean it is non consensual. It's best to go in when he's kinda woken up/groggy and start making out and then get to the touching (or whatever else).
a1_z9 10
Whereas my partner can't get a decent night's sleep unless I have a firm grasp on his genitalia (just kidding.... kind of). Different couples have different boundaries and all that.
DoomedGemini 38
Yes, but boundaries need to be discussed. I'm hoping that op's bf said it was okay..
Zebediabolical 45
If this was a guy I bet he'd be accused of being a rapist because sleeping people can't give consent. No. I don't think she is. I'm just sayin'.
a1_z9 10
People are kinda saying she is violating him without consent. Which just goes to show it's nothing to do with man problems and more to do with not realising other people's relationships might not be the same as their own.
Zebediabolical 45
Yes. But it would be more along the lines of 'THAT'S RAPE!' and 'OP'S A RAPIST' instead of 'Well, you shoudln't do that...' Y'know, much more blatant instead of nibbling around the edges.
a1_z9 10
I think it's because women talk with each other about their experiences of genuine lack of consent, knowing it happens on such a scale probably helps them fill in rapey blanks in otherwise harmless situations. FML submissions hardly have enough space for important details about the state of a couple's relationship. What they're trying to do is protect each other from harm, not vilify an entire gender.
Severefear 7
Yeah, touch someone when they're asleep. YDI
Biker187 13
His loss, never known a guy to turn down wake up sex.
scyth3s 13
OMG HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! RAAAPPPEEEE /sarcasm
trey600rr 22
just keep stroking and he will wake up!
itzjstnx 18
Later on when he wants sex from you, you elbow him back (:
sophiehelen 32
Must be just me who thinks doing that to wake someone up is really creepy
Keiraquarium 12
I wouldn't say it's creepy if you know that your partner will like it or if you've done it before
Badkarma4u 17
Some people panic when startled awake, and punch, kick, scratch, knee or elbow whatever has startled them. Putting your face really close to theirs makes it worse, they they open their eyes they see a huge out of focus blob with teeth and an eye.
Tannasgh 22
C'est un idiot!!