Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I was watching a Facebook reel of this guy who tried to kill a giant spider with a shoe. All of a sudden the spider disappeared, then came running up his arm towards me so fast it spooked the fuck outta me and I threw my phone hard as hell down the stairs! The worst part is I’m sure he knew that was gonna happen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
boombangboi 3
Time to leave and never return.
Jabberwockyy 13
I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.
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Comments (221)
XSeraphinX 18
People don't learn... You kill it with fire! All you need is some spray can and a match.
katina1236 20
Peppermint oil and water in a spray bottle. They hate it, of course you have to be prepared to deal with a mass swarm running away
buckdharma 38
Honorable op. Paint little spider eyes on the discarded sac and you can trick the babies into following it outside. This traditional Chinese recipe for Egg Fool Young.
Simbaby 23
Guess who wouldn't be living there anymore ?
owencgray 10
spiders arent all that bad. scoop up th babys nand put them in an open top terrarium with vaseline covering the top three inches of the rim and bugs will fly in and get eaten thereore liminated but the spidrs cant escpe due to the vasline. you may hav to throw bugs in yourself from time to time
Blink_me26 21
Nopenopenopenopenope
Echosnow 15
That is one of my fears!! That is why I make other people kill spiders!
ea247 20
Doh!!
darianxxxxx 2
Thats it, I'm done, I'm moving to mars.
bluucat 17
Release the baby Krakens!