Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I was watching a Facebook reel of this guy who tried to kill a giant spider with a shoe. All of a sudden the spider disappeared, then came running up his arm towards me so fast it spooked the fuck outta me and I threw my phone hard as hell down the stairs! The worst part is I’m sure he knew that was gonna happen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
boombangboi 3
Time to leave and never return.
Jabberwockyy 13
I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.
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Comments (221)
HarryFred 2
YDI for trying to kill a spider!
BossMindedFemale 20
land of the lost XD
smackaroonial 20
Burn your house down.
JulianC 6
Consider using a homemade flamethrower that consists if any flammable spray and a lighter
Sukyi199495 10
This is why you kill spiders with fire.
shinigami99 10
Am I the only person that voted "YDI"? Wow...The spider was just minding her own business. She had no idea that she was inside somebody's house, therefor she did not understand that it was unwanted. Then out of nowhere, some moron (OP) throws a shoe at her, killing her babies!! Humans aren't the only species on this planet. Next time just get a piece of paper and take it outside.
Alchemist_21 26
Do you also feel sorry for the helpless bugs that get caught in a spider's web with no idea they shouldn't have been there in the first place?
shinigami99 10
Are you serious? That's nature, you moron T_T . The spider is going to eat those bugs. I don't think OP is going to eat the ******* spider.
Alchemist_21 26
Fear of spiders is natural too, and killing the spider is a natural reaction to that fear.
nevereyes 31
177, the spider needs to eat those bugs. There was zero reason for OP to kill the poor spider.
nevereyes 31
182, fearing spiders isn't natural, it's conditioned. And running away is the natural response to fear.
juturnaamo 29
Nope, same here. I always heard it was bad to kill spiders because spiders protect your home. (Wolf spiders, one of the most common house/garden spiders in the US, will eat more dangerous spiders like black widows and brown recluses)
sk8ter23 5
hope you're not arachnophobic
Cely988 29
I'm going to have nightmares because of this fml *shivers*
laxjb 4
Call the Military, your tax dollars pay for them to have weapons for this exact incident.
thefads 8
I wouldn't be able to go home... I'd live in a hotel until my house had been smoked out... I wouldn't be able to do anything!