Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I was watching a Facebook reel of this guy who tried to kill a giant spider with a shoe. All of a sudden the spider disappeared, then came running up his arm towards me so fast it spooked the fuck outta me and I threw my phone hard as hell down the stairs! The worst part is I’m sure he knew that was gonna happen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
boombangboi 3
Time to leave and never return.
Jabberwockyy 13
I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.
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Comments (221)
appletreee 30
Spiders creep me out FYL.
Wizardo 34
Well guess it's time to go house shopping, claim insurance on this one after it mysteriously burns down.
thefmlcounter 1
there's going to be a party in your mouth tonight
sonictardis 8
That is not okay.
Alchemist_21 26
DUDE, I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING! I didn't throw my shoe, but I tried to step on one to kill it, but it was in a three sided corner, so the pressure was just right to release the hundreds of spiderlings. FYL
mathen 9
And I couldn't really understand the people wanting to join the one way mission to Mars...
x23bzrk 16
I am so sorry
Sarcasm_Included 4
I hate spiders but last summer I was on a camping trip and we were canoeing and I felt something on my leg ..... I looked down to see a five inch long centipede crawling up my leg .... needless to say I abandoned ship
JazNim17 18
Ugh I'd actually prefer a spider over a centipede! I woke up at 3 one morning because I felt something moving inside my shirt....I jumped up and it stung me twice before I got it out. it was a HUGE centipede! I was so freaked out that I couldn't go back to bed. I still check my bed every night.
CeeCee_fml 16
Nope.
FrankHotpants 31
The logical thing to do here is burn the house down.
noatak 6
Run and cry away.