Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I was watching a Facebook reel of this guy who tried to kill a giant spider with a shoe. All of a sudden the spider disappeared, then came running up his arm towards me so fast it spooked the fuck outta me and I threw my phone hard as hell down the stairs! The worst part is I’m sure he knew that was gonna happen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
boombangboi 3
Time to leave and never return.
Jabberwockyy 13
I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.
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Comments (221)
zaise_chsa 19
Well looks like you got some new roommates.
Fr0gs 15
You wont make it out of this one alive
bigwiensch 15
I worked so hard on my pun
PierceTheSquidgy 8
At least you were brave enough to stay and kill it. If I came across any type of spider, The first thing id do is run..I have a huge fear of spiders.
extrasnipes 22
I think running would have been better in this case actually
PierceTheSquidgy 8
True, Op probably should've done that in the first place.
Bentonic 11
Yeah, it seems OP was outnumbered. "He who turns and runs away lives to fight another day!"
Patty410 11
But all it wanted was a hug.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Good luck :/
dachayke 16
Do any of your comments have a point?
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Can you like get a life instead of keeping up with what I comment ((: k thnx
dachayke 16
No, I just see your pointless comments everywhere. And yes, I do have a life. By the way, learn to spell.
chocolatefrog28 29
And the nightmare begins. Run, OP!
jaellin 18
Ewwwww. I feel creepy crawly now. Sorry, op.
The_Big_Boss 20
The look on your face must have been priceless
Hilda_x 25
Just the thought of hundreds of little spiders running around gives me the creeps. FYL.