Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
umm, isnt this two girls everyone?
ohmandapants 17
precum isn't generally "white and stringy"...
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Comments (116)
pepsie_fml 0
do u?
morena0603 0
ROFLMAO!!!thanks!
Apolloyn 0
makes my day !
thecbake4 0
Wait...What?
PoopTrainDix 0
I'm pretty sure this is Lesbi-Sex, why would a girl tell a man that he's really wet?
xJaypex 0
yeah probably both girls, by chicken fat meaning kfc look alike grease! gross
drewbell 0
ur really wet, your really sweaty
baby_val 0
yes haha furreal I'm just confused
trizzieb 0
FML for having to read that. I just threw up in my mouth.
garuru 4
haha cockblock get it chicken haha even thogh the op is a girl haha
heyy331111 0
no
silentfog 0
lol ^
corndogs123 0
It isn't your sweaty... it's you're sweaty.
_imipurpleninja_ 0
who freaking cares???!!! God im so sick of people correcting other people
funeralgal 4
Ugh me too.... Sorry OP, FYL, but seriously that description is enough for the most hardened sex master to gag a bit....
underpaid011 0
if you are going to get that excited - next time spank it first
morena0603 0
hilarious!!!!
chachachaBang 0
lmao.
PsychoMerk 0
bahaha!!! xD that made my day. I'm sorry OP :')
Snake_Monkey 0
BWAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH. AWESOME chicken fat ftw
Ilovelife07 0
umm, isnt this two girls everyone?
Nis3y_Babi 0
y would u think that?
iamchuck 0
Men don't generally get "really wet".
koolitaliano 0
I'm wondering that too, girl on girl win? still an FYL OP
Blue_Coconuts 7
That's what I was thinking, unless the guy was sweating or something.
moltencandy 0
guys can get wet.... lots of pre ejaclate?
iamchuck 0
Yes, you are right. Men are often referred to as being wet when there is lots of pre-cum..... Oh, wait, no, that's wrong.
littlemissxtc 0
could easily be a guy - chicken fat is white and stringy ... maybe that's what the pre cum looked like??? either way the poor OP what a shallow bitch!
fizzymonsterman 0
cool dog^^^
ohmandapants 17
precum isn't generally "white and stringy"...
shattered567 0
eur dod in ir profile pic s so cute :D
schealey 0
so?
musicisadrug 0
lmao who thinks of that while doing it
icy716 0
^^^lmfao hes right
spazz666 18
So if ^^^hes right why don't you try hitting reply next time?
PandasRtheShit 0
You should probably get that checked out..
succubusprime 0
UFO for not dating a fat chick who can appreciate you for what you are.
succubusprime 0
YDI. **** spell check.
tazshalis 0
no, it ****** you
succubusprime 0
and it hurts so good. l
maskedman 9
UFO? that's hilarious. your comment was out of this world.
albinomustang 0
^^^fail.
spiderman0606 0
UFO... fat chick... oh I get it!
HoesInaBox 0
oh god, this chain of comments made my day!
imchanel 0
turn off! try again. FYL