Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, while out with my girlfriend, her stalker ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and beat the shit out of me. While I was on the ground, my girlfriend got angry at him, and went to go “talk with him in private.” She’s nowhere to be found, and hasn’t picked up her phone in four hours. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
By "tried to fight" you mean you attempted to assault someone? While it's commendable that you wanted what you thought was payback for your (hopefully ex) girlfriend, you are lucky you only got your ass kicked. You could have faced criminal charges over this. More importantly, you NEED to dump that bitch- not only did she lie about something as important as abuse, but she apparently did so just for the attention. If she was willing to accuse him of abuse, she's going to be willing to accuse you of abuse- quite possibly while you are still dating- for attention and revenge for a disagreement.
RichardPencil 32
One word about seeking revenge without knowing 100% that you can beat the victim: Taekwondon’t!
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Comments (21)
PhantomCrevan 8
By "tried to fight" you mean you attempted to assault someone? While it's commendable that you wanted what you thought was payback for your (hopefully ex) girlfriend, you are lucky you only got your ass kicked. You could have faced criminal charges over this. More importantly, you NEED to dump that bitch- not only did she lie about something as important as abuse, but she apparently did so just for the attention. If she was willing to accuse him of abuse, she's going to be willing to accuse you of abuse- quite possibly while you are still dating- for attention and revenge for a disagreement.
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
The next thing you know you’re living through the room. Be warned, op, if you develop a weird accent and terrible acting, you may be in serious danger
RichardPencil 32
One word about seeking revenge without knowing 100% that you can beat the victim: Taekwondon’t!
Dave_Davington 34
That was a ******* stupid idea on your part. We have police and prisons for a reason.
Mungolikecandy 19
You were a bit of a silly billy trying to attack someone, as violence to revenge, violence is self-defeating (and in your case a beating).
ohsnapword 21
The first red flag of an unhealthy relationship: they can't stop talking about their ex. Lick your wounds and break it off.
AreyoucomingOnmytitsPhrasingboom 7
Seriously OP, your girlfriend is a right b*tch for putting you through this.
joeyl2008 29
So in order to teach him not to hit people you tried to hit him?
Razell 13
Pretty sure that's SOP with men. *shrug*
EarthsMightiestHeroes 20
I've been in the role of the ex-boyfriend before, where someone I loved dumped me and told everyone she knew I abused her, when in reality, she was the one that abused me. It was 5 years ago, so I'm over it now, but for a while it was damn awful. I, however, was not able to fight whoever tried to fight me about it. I'm glad no one did!
KittyMack 13
That is horrible! I'm so sorry. As if it isn't bad enough losing someone you still love, to lose your reputation too, and be forced to realize you were in love with an asshole. Ouch. Your story has a very valuable lesson for anyone tempted to go vigilante.
demix_fml 32
I hope she is now your ex girlfriend.... people that cry wolf are the reason so many people are not believed. ?
chosha_fml 27
She is awful for lying about abuse. But also, if she had been telling the truth, do you think what she would want or need is another boyfriend who solves things with violence?