Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I felt a spider crawling by my eye. Having a huge fear of spiders, like an idiot, I lamped myself in square in the eye. I now have a partial black eye because of what turned out to be a feather. FML
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
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Top comments
RobertWJV86 11
Spider hunter.. Death by eyelid..
Earths_Venus 25
Well now there's no spider to climb up the water spout. You're a monster!
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Comments (77)
Klima_fml 29
That sounds like hell, spiders are probably my worst fear.
buonotomato 20
I wish it was possible to press the FYL button more than one time.
AloysiusWeasley 15
No kidding. How about a very special button to nominate an FML for best of the week/month/year/whatever? You only get so many votes per time span, but that could be a way to give an extra "Wow, **** Your Life, buddy!" I would vote for this one in a hot minute. I have a truce with spiders because they eat others things I like even less. I avoid killing them unless they violate the treaty by crawling on me. Now I have the itchies, dammit.
klenorris 15
*shudders*
elcee1987 18
Well? What does it feel like?
worldclassrager 41
At least it wasn't poisonious?
GamerOs946 6
I hope you are ok...
heartsoflions 16
poor spidey.
DewIchigo 17
OH MY GAWDD THIS IS HORRIBLE!
Nyx7 24
That...is awesome! You go spider hunter
cvirginia222 12
How did a spider get caught in ur eye ew