Today, I bought my dog an expensive orthopedic bed because I felt bad that he was getting older. He sniffed it for 5 seconds, walked away, and spent the night sleeping on the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, the box has better lumbar support. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML
Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML
Today, I found out my brand new $3,000 mattress that is supposed to relieve my back pain works amazingly. I only discovered this because my wife, son, daughter, dog, and two cats are all asleep on it and not waking up. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I told my dogs to go to their dog beds. The small dog went onto the big one’s bed. The big dog went onto my bed. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
It might be the 'new' smell .Let it air out for a while.
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Comments (1)
GoogieWithers 25
It might be the 'new' smell .Let it air out for a while.