Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
That's what you get for being a little bitch
jazmin3012 28
"Today, I tried to blackmail my dad..." Instant YDI
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Comments (77)
albertozeta_fml 9
The most deserved FML of the history!
Fou_Lou 20
Good parents are good. XD You totally deserve it.
ErinRosado 14
YDI...didn't need to read the whole FML.
crissco 2
And medical marijuana bill didn't pass? I hope they voted.
phsycic_melon 8
Tell them to unground you and if they don't contact the police.
_mittlieder_ 18
Look on the bright side. Even though YDI for being bitchy, it's almost the new year.
Demonyx 6
Forget the rat thing and the blackmailing of your parents. What made you think your mom didn't know? It's weed, not a meth pipe tucked away in his car or truck. Not a whole lot of people actually give a shit, if it's an otherwise responsible adult. The insult of suggesting your mom doesn't know who she married should be enough to get you grounded. They probably smoke together when they need to unwind from dealing with the type of fuckwad that tries that shit
frankhobz 14
It's more like snitches get bitches
FoxHunt9119 19
Neve try to blackmail your parents never a good idea.
ChrisMora 16
Accidentally pressed "Your life sucks", you absolutely deserve it.