Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
That's what you get for being a little bitch
jazmin3012 28
"Today, I tried to blackmail my dad..." Instant YDI
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Comments (77)
Niedermayer_20 12
Lucky, if that was the mob, you would probably been killed!
lollypop624 11
Threaten them w/ the cops. xx
Kendrah18 19
Idiot. It's just pot. There are way worse things out there.
OMG_132 9
If I was your dad, i would drive you into the woods and ditch you for being a whining bitch. FML isn't a place where you get to hear people tell you what you want to hear. It's a place where you're just going to be judged by is
pcgwm 13
LOL, you're such a little bitch.. you deserved it
at0micmin3r 23
Don't diss ya parents, boy. YDI
davincidasecond 24
I have no respect for blackmailers or rats. YDI. I'm glad you got grounded for that long.
OMG_132 9
Oh and FML cuz u got in trouble? YDI
Jessssuhh 17
If your parents are anything like my parents, the bong was hidden from YOU, idiot.
StellaNox 16
The big Q is: What did you do? Till the end of the year is a long time, so something tells me you didnt just stay out after curfew? :-)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
They tried to BLACKMAIL their father. That is more than enough to deserve to be grounded till the new year.