Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML
Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
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Top comments
worldclassrager 41
Just don't do drugs...
moonsalt 20
What about us? Are we invited? c:
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Comments (101)
dizzaymizlizzay 11
Same happened to me. I chose to stop taking it because I had sex with a friend I wouldn't have had sex without being loopy on ambien. You're not the only one. Seek advice on another sleep aid like lunesta
Ashleighalfred 14
I guess im the only person who didn't have a negative reaction to it... unless you count the fact that it didnt work and I only got about 3 hours of sleep. .. but you arent alone. it's a very common side effect of ambien and lunesta. just try the OTC stuff first. The walmart brand works grest for me.
jenn1808 16
Ambien does nothing for me, but trazadone and unisom sometimes help. Then again it's 7:20 am and I haven't been able to sleep yet so what do I know?
awesomeamandas 37
I used to take ambien a couple years back. It's only make me high, wouldn't make me sleep though. I remember one night I took more than I was supposed to, to see if a larger dose would make me sleep, the next thing I know I was making pancakes and I thought the pancakes were hurt so I tried "saving" them by sticking my hand in the pan. Worst burn I've ever gotten. And then later that night I tried sleeping so I went to bed. And I saw the devil like right above me and it scared the sh*t outta me. That was the last time I ever took ambien.
kyu_Q 19
seriously, how do they approve shit like this for use. temporary loss of vision??? WTF "well since they're taking it to sleep they won't mind not seeing for a bit ......Approved"
LC3290 16
I wanna play D:
jeping1981 1
How many did u take?
tricias73 3
Yeah, some of the bad side effects really suck. I also found that out the hard way. Sorry OP!
jaybone87 8
such a tard.
ben_e_boy28 4
I'd make sure you take your parents, siblings and any first cousins off speed dial now! ;)
67FML 5
Favorite FML ever. We need to hang out....sounds like one of my drunk ideas
Omniprism 15
When taking ambien I found I had to go to sleep right away. I've had conversations with people and I don't remember a thing.