Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
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Top comments
xxmollyxx 25
Lol, that sounds beautiful and romantic.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In some cultures, vomiting on your food is considered respectable and a sign of favor in the locals' eyes.
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Comments (128)
Aray 0
all gud
omghehehe 0
:) yummm......lick it up :P (ewww, i jus grossed myself out :/) UR IN!! 1st of all, she obviously doesn't drink, but she did it for U because U ordered it! Then she frenched kiss U too! U made her vomit and she still liked U! At this point, she's urs. A guy really gets points for being ok/taking care of her during this nauseous/weak state :) Im sure she will make it up to u next time ;)
Boy_Flow 0
Hey man at least you got some action, and probably some more still to come x-D
I_Call_Fake 0
Well you kissed her back. YDI
NumberZine 0
For those of you know don't know what Olive Garden is, it's a chain restaurant that imitates Italian food by microwaving frozen sauce packets and dumping it on the only thing they cook in the kitchen: the noodles they boil. Nothing fancy about it.
anonymousjason 0
Olive Garden? Romantifail?
Professor59 2
What an awful non-FML. Hmmm... gorgeous girl, french kiss... You should probably dump her and wallow in your misery. But first, post her home phone number here!
rastilin 0
Ok, I'm not seeing the problem. Yes, she got sick. But this gorgeous girl obviously likes you, so the date was a success.
the_gay_van 0
Win, despite Olive Garden.
Life_Gets_Me 0
dude she just puked and then french kissed him. that is a FMl.