Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
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Top comments
xxmollyxx 25
Lol, that sounds beautiful and romantic.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In some cultures, vomiting on your food is considered respectable and a sign of favor in the locals' eyes.
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Comments (128)
damnimunlucky 0
oh well....at least shes gorgeous
keres 0
YDI for eating at Olive Garden... lulz
ktho522 0
Olive Garden has been in two FML's recently... weird... apparently it's not unusual for girls to vomit and have epileptic seizures at Olive Garden.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I took her to the garden where I guess they grow the OLIVES, She wore a tighter skirt than any I had seen in COLLEGE, She said "I love to smoke
lespaulhero 0
wow you idiot who cares! shouldve liked it...
lacho95 4
Olive garden is an italian restraunt
flyboy57 0
Olive Garden is really romantic!
Lisasimpsonfan 0
YDI You take your Grandma to Olive Garden not a date.
FerrariCake 2
She covered her dinner with vomit because you ordered wine? That's strange. Did this girl just have no idea what wine is? Had she never had wine? If so, you have a keeper: she's hot and totally ignorant. You can tell her anything you like, and probably convince her to do anything. Make sure she cleans up her mouth, make her promise not to vomit any more and then get to work on her.
redcherries90 0
omfg!! if a girl pukes you do NOT kiss her. nor do you ever ever ever take anyone to olive garden. especially on a date.