brownunderwear
United States
Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Two speeds
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Well Shit
Rickmansworth, United Kingdom
Leftovers
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Joe Shmoe
Vancouver, Canada
We almost made it…
Today, I really really needed to poop. I held it hard. I held it really hard. I pooped my pants. FML
mysidesaresplitting
Oxford, United States
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Great timing
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god
Singapore, Singapore
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia
Always wear camo gear
Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
Anonymous
Shitty situation
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Top comments
akagopher 7
TMI
Eyams 0
At least there was no plasma?
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Comments (92)
luna_y_mar 0
I cracked up when I read this...oops sorry shouldn't have said it that way. Shit comes in different forms whether in life or apparently from ur own ass.
ollie179 21
that's a shitty situation. BRING ON THE THUMBS DOWN!
uprising_fml 0
aren't most ***** that way ? I mean, it's going to give off a rank gaseous stench no matter what .
deviable 9
Sounds like a good poop to me.
sweet_candy_ 17
That's disgusting.
pfx2_fml 15
Thanks for sharing..
lelandw7393 3
Plasma is a state of matter too...
KyuuketsukiApple 30
Maybe OP is oblivious, they don't teach that in basic high school 'science'.
docscientist 10
You guys are coming across as hipsters that jump on any chance to sound like you know more than others. The Fml states it was in 3 states of matter, not all 3 states, nor not in every state of matter. Reading comprehension makes all the difference.
docscientist 10
Plus, if you want to be kings of douchedom, you should've mentioned how op forgot to mention his Bose-Einstein condensate.
builditbetter09 3
Simply put "i took a shit.FML" which isn't really an FML.
Rainchikmoo 6
And you felt the need to share this, why exactly? I will never be able to get this mental picture out of my head >.
cutie724 8
How is this an fml? :s