Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
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Top comments
RPGod 0
Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.
KingOfTheWastes 0
I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.
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Comments (106)
RPGod 0
Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.
GuerillaRated 0
My friend got cockblocked once by a dude named Marshall. He told this girl my friend was talking to that we were at the club celebrating his release from prison. Seizing an opportunity to be all badass and mysterious my friend agreed. When the girl asked what he was in for, Marshall jumped in and said: "Date rape". She instantly bolted and I almost pissed myself laughing. It is true that you will never be as good as Marshall.
Squid_surfer 0
That sounds like something I would do haha
uradopted 0
WE ARE MARSHALL!!!!
bestnameright 14
Well it is kinda hard to compete with Marshall...
FarSide 23
You sure she did not say "Marsha"???
DameGreyWulf 1
MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA
dfc09 5
No, Marshall from 'How I met Your Mother' He's pretty much the perfect man. He stayed with one girl for years.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Not uncommon for guys todo that. A woman like that, that's hard to find.
SaintJimmy 0
I agree with #7.
StrickenNerve 0
Whatever #1 said!
KingOfTheWastes 0
I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.
coldplaylive2003 0
what sucks even worse is that Marshall is her prostitute
lizzzie_fml 0
What have you been doing with this girl for two months if this is the first date?!
wtf_fml 0
I hate to break the news to you, but you two have been dating for 8 months now.
sandormatyi 25
maybe "seeing" as staring at her from a safe distance?
thatoneguyinca 0
oye....you need to slay girls....don't save up all week to take one out...you take them out for one drink after they've already been out with friends, by then their already hammered. Hint: LEYKIS 101
AKBIGCAL 0
Data when you get her calmed down, go back to her place, then bang her and dump her. There's a full proof plan for ya haha
gameoverman_fml 0
She's been waiting 2 months for a meal, no wonder the poor girl is a little cranky! I bet Marshall never kept her waiting, if you know what I mean.