Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (353)
DjeePee 25
He must have read FML, 'cause some teenage girl was first with this joke.
slick5880 22
Originally posted 4/14/12 by a girl from France.
rachilio 26
Actually EVERY outside FML knows this joke
FarFromPoopen 2
Donny should live by himself it would seem.
Shadow4i5 3
It's Dobby bro
ambowew 7
Of course, Dobby is still treated like vermin!
ishiloh 5
Autopwned? :/
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
Donny Osmond? I'm pretty ure he had his own place...
your_ma 27
Dobby has no girlfriend! Dobby is a virgin!!
looney_mc 4
Lol
ForeverEminem1 5
haha that just made my day :)
kut17 11
I bet Dobby took advantage of Winky. I mean, she was drunk 24/7. She probably didn't even put up a fight.
l23VIVE 17
If I were Dobby I'd just stay away from Winky
obviousboy 8
Tell him dobby can start paying rent and paying for groceries. :P
davexs 10
Since Dobby has no master he can get a job and pay for his own house and food.
ambowew 7
Dobby only spends his savings on socks! That Galleon salary has to go on something worthy!
obsydian_fml 3
So...why is the age relevant?
kirbeaar 19
Because he's an adult and still acting like a child while also refusing to do what his mother asks in HER house.
BeThePanda 1
No, it's relevant because the age makes him an adult and thus free. What happened to everyone's senses of humor. This was funny!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, there are the ones who find this potter reference funny, and those who who think this is another guy who thinks being a legal adult makes him entitled to do whatever he wants under his parents home.
Zomg_Okay 27
43 - Yes, it was funny. He's legally an adult now but while he's under his parent's roof he should still be doing exactly as he is told.
teague95 16
he does live in his parents house, so their rules
makenna2011 6
Your son sounds fantastic! I don't see why this is a FML...sounds like you're raising him just right :)
leadawg75 12
I saw that on Facebook last month...
buck33 14
Thumbed my self down on the double. Sorry...