Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
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Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
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Comments (353)
AlexBblah 10
Dear Lawd Give this woman the strenght not to take the sock away from him.
olpally 33
He played you good there, op. Lmao. Dobby died though.
LissaMccracken 23
:( And it was the worst death, besides Fred or maybe Snape
KVKdragon 26
Why is that so immature? People of all ages love Harry Potter and I'd happily make references to the series in daily convo :P
ALpein 0
But God forbid someone makes a joke that isn't of mainstream nerdism. Harry Potter joke? Hilarious! Lord of the Rings joke? How immature.
KVKdragon 26
Why are you using my comment for a flame war? -_-
ALpein 0
I'm not. I'm agreeing. Where do you see a 'flame war'?
ChattyKathy0502 2
Not immature just not funny =P
miracle250 0
Somebody has been watching Harry Potter..
sierra142 19
You think?
heygirlie777 21
Well, at least he's a house elf. That means he can't have a wand and he can't Avada Kedavra you.
XxQueenofPuppets 10
Yeah but house elves are badass... I want to be able to flick my fingers and make a cake float. =]
Voldy_fml 16
I think your Son is awesome!
Forlorn420 9
I bet you do lol. Though you are an elf killer..
Myo_fml 20
I while reading this part of the comments was falling asleep and had a terrifying dream like flash of Voldemort all up in my face. Just throwing that out there.
Leslier_fml 4
Dobby is a free elf therefore he should be living on his own.
ebonyirony 29
Or the Hogwarts kitchens.
strawberrywine22 30
Sounds like Dobby needs to get a job and start pitching in for the bills!
Dracoboxer357 36
34- Agreed, or he can come home to find his stuff on the side of the curb. Parent's house, so those appear to be his choices.
ElectricEffect 13
I'd just like to point out since people seem to be repeating that he should get a job and pitch in, that absolutely nowhere in the FML does it say he doesn't have a job, or pitch in what-so-ever.
missunderstanded 5
dobby needs a roommate and a new place
rivaraven 35
He sounds awesome. :P