Rochelle
United States
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
moonlight77
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Bonapp
France
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
sarah
United States
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
TEETH
Granny Smith
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Nose bleed
North Vancouver, Canada
Fight Club
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML
Cinnanyan
Quezon City, Philippines
Got away with it, surely?
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Lifeless
United States
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
sunshine19217
United States
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
a_B_c_D_e_F_g
United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
Top comments
ScaughtieHolden 11
You're supposed to use a banana.
ebonyirony 29
Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.
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Comments (137)
ebonyirony 29
Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.
thawny_fml 21
Should've gone with the cliche banana.
SkoomaKi 28
I like woman how I like my apples....green and sour. Those granny smith apples ;D
1awliet 8
You know, apples are the god of deaths' favourite food :)
MrBrightside21 20
It's okay OP. Sometimes, I like to dress up like Batman, and serve justice to the villains of Ohio. I usually use my bowstaff to keep the ladies from flinging their bodies onto me.
unjustlychicken 10
I prefer the yellow apples....
swankmrpancake 8
#45 I also like my women like my apples old, rotten and dug out from under some dirt ;D
Slender_Man 6
59 - no. The pomegranates are.
owlfeatures 8
SkoomaKi you like old grannies with the surname Smith? Kinky!
ericathealien 7
79-in the anime/manga death note, apples were a death god's favorite food
Googoo27 12
You're on the right track. Now find someone to send it to.
hockeyoceancity 13
I'll take a look at it...
biggestfan23 11
#33 lol must be desperate huh?
mduffy08 8
I'll eat the apple.. FEED ME!
MattBC97 4
I hope you instagrammed that sh*t
seahawksfan900 11
I wanna see that...;) next time seductively eat an orange?
ScaughtieHolden 11
You're supposed to use a banana.
reallytho3 11
No she shouldve used bacon... It wouldve gone viral
TwentyFourXXIV 13
I'm saying use a pineapple if your mouth is big enough ;)
BountyBass 13
I could eat a peach for hours
onlychildFTW 34
Lollipop would be best!
rageandlove13 8
28- either that or cheese :D
Alyssa_Mendez 4
Who doesn't seductively bite things that are plump and juicy?
dhooks111490 8
This guy
jetsown08 21
Bath salt zombies. Those guys dot bite seductively, they just bite. And hard. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
jetsown08 21
Don't*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Don't* trust me, I'm a doctor? That makes a lot of sense.
KBeatz 5
Hmm there has to be some kind of fruit fetish out there, have you tried pictures with, bananas perhaps?
Pelvispresley 8
Ooohh... That pear... So... Juicy, so curvy.... Oooooh
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I prefer my women with melons. Big ol' watermelons. Haha.
stormchaser24 24
You are taking pictures of yourself eating apples. That is what you are doing with your life.
uberdubers 3
Obviously.
DrJesse 10
7- You should be a motivational speaker. That was beautiful :' )
TallestThoughts 12
You should get a job at pointing out the obvious because you seem to be pretty good at it.
turtlebackpack1 0
Because that wasn't clearly stated in the FML or anything...
Dixbfloppin 11
Comment of the year.
Luxord33 8
#7 all sarcasm aside, you're amazing. That comment was epic.
Popcornography 10
Damn Granny Smith, you fine ;)
Zedd_fml 8
Don't worry OP, Eve didn't know what she was doing either,when she bit into the apple snake provided.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
"Pics or it didn't happen" has never been more relevant. Was it an 'I'm bored' thing or an 'I genuinely look sexy when I eat apples' thing?
iliketurdles 7
Such things exist? My whole life has been a lie.
noelykins1 19
Oh my gosh... This might be the most perfect picture with that comment. I have never seen one better than this. I applaud ^
AClassActx3 7
Well GET UP, get OUT & find something for your life. Don't waste it
swankmrpancake 8
Possibly starting to work your local corner late at night shortly
ebonyirony 29
Local produce stand.