Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, at a work function, I noticed that my boss and my girlfriend kept leaving the room at the same time. Fearing the worst, I waited outside in the hallway. As soon as they went into the bathroom, I pushed my way in. Sex? Nope. They were doing lines of coke off the bathroom counter. FML
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Top comments
Garagedwella 26
You couldn't of just gone into a bathroom to handle your little itch?
extrasnipes 22
YDI for doing that much in public. If you went for a quick scratch secretly when no one was there then maybe fyl.
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Comments (39)
Garagedwella 26
You couldn't of just gone into a bathroom to handle your little itch?
lolhailsatan 23
hate to be that asshole but *couldn't have
onlychildFTW 34
If you hated it, you wouldn't have done it 16.
commanderstiff 19
What exactly are you correcting #16?
hunterluv1 20
they're correcting #1's grammar.
weswheatley 14
#1 said "could of", which is incorrect, "could have" is the proper wording.
hellnosucka 27
#18 correcting bad grammar is sometimes a necessary evil.
RedPillSucks 33
#16s new name; Konan the Gramarian
WOTAN1488 24
Try somewhere more...private.
beeferjay 34
you should have asked for an extra hand
AyeTee77 18
1. Tell her "I was getting them ready for you ;)". 2. With a seductive smile on your face 3. Profit $$$, you're welcome.
alkoy 4
yes, if by "profit" you mean a punch in the face.
itsalanis 25
Yeah, and by "$$$" you mean a sexual harassment lawsuit.
clemsi 20
@4 you messed up the order...its 3: ??? 4: profit
shadowlurker_j 15
Great way to get called a creep
Thatissarcastic 17
No this works every time, trust me. Nothing more attractive than a creep who you just caught scratching their balls trying to pick up on you.
afkwarrior 25
Scratching your balls is fine. It's just itching a scratch. Bit more weird if she was happy to stand there watching you for a little before making her presence known.
Ms_ValS 27
Itching a scratch? Seriously?
khorstmye 15
Maybe ask her for a hand?
derangedplanet 23
how intelligent of you. hopefully your mouth wasn't hanging open in relief or something.
91hayek 31
Also making sounds from that mouth at the same time would be bad.
buckstop1 37
Haven't seen you around in a while Hayek, what happened?
beeferjay 34
ur mom happened
91hayek 31
Been doing stuff. Thanks for checking up though.
dracolich 27
Scratching your balls in public is disgusting when you're somewhere where people could walk in at any moment. I also hope you were doing it over your pants.
extrasnipes 22
YDI for doing that much in public. If you went for a quick scratch secretly when no one was there then maybe fyl.
amsterdamgirl 20
Still she hung in there. How about you?
amsterdamgirl 20
ok. I just read the rest of the remarks. and I am just going to say it sometimes things itch I've been known to scratch at my boobs. However well intentioned it pisses some people off. apologise say you had an itch tell her if she's unconfortamble with it you'll do it in private Nd hope she doesn't think less 9f you. FYI women have their itchy places too
derangedplanet 23
Yeah well whenever I scratch my boob for a just a second I get the most uncomfortable looks ever. and yes through the shirt. and women would certainly never get away for itching her pants area for something like stubble itch. just saying. it's blatant. and uncomfortable conversation. but it's true.