constantine
United States
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Noname
United States
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Vicky
Carson City, United States
Welcome!
Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML
Stupidhuman
Sparta, United States
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
f u stomach flu
Poway, United States
Touch me I'm sick
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Acne_problems
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
jlw1998
Dallas, United States
Sick move, bro
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Melbourne, Australia
Keep the peace
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Anonymous
Bloomington, United States
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Sally
Pissed
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Top comments
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
No offense, but that sounds a little needy.
Imdead 0
She's self absorbed and your just a pussy if you stay with her. She'll never ever meet your needs.
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Comments (30)
inzanethoughts 0
you shouldnt be such a bitch
24788 7
Wow she seems boring and self centered. I'd find someone new.
Newtons_Cradle 0
yeah, girls are like that. i know, i am one. i don't know why men put up with us. YLIF.
Hyenayena 27
Yknow what!? No. No, not all girls. There'll be guys and gals like that, but j pride myself in always being there for my partner. I am there for him, just as he is here for me. I've helped him, and he helps me. Never EVER have either of us been self centred. We keep each other's interests in mind and love each other. So yeah, he puts up with me. He puts up with love He puts up with unconditional support He puts up with pick-me-ups, And he puts up with warm meals and cuddles. He puts up with having a shoulder to lean on... What a horrible life eh??? :)))
DigitalSea 0
Take a dump on her carpet, one some newspaper and then rub her nose in it. It's the only way she'll learn.
some_girl9 8
YDI. Stop being so needy and grow a pair.
Poepiepiesie 3
Killing here and then fleeing is a great way to get wanted. Also plenty if sex in jail.
skreech96 0
haha absolutely brilliant!
chelseaaababyyy 17
i would of done the same thing, asshole !
chelseaaababyyy 17
wrong FML
RebeccaRFT 18
I hate it when people whine about their insecurities constantly. If I talk to you regularly, then you're wanted. End of story. Now stop your ridiculous neediness