Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML
Today, my dad went to the doctor to find out if he is autistic. When we walked in, the doctor asked why he wasn't testing if he was diabetic, effectively calling my dad fat. My dad was deeply offended, so I gave that jackass doctor an earful. But as it turns out, he was correct. My dad does have diabetes. FML
Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
Today, my family decided it'd be a great idea to berate me for not being excited enough for my brother and his wife's baby news. They told us on my birthday, adding that if I wasn't so fat I'd have one too. I have insulin-resistant PCOS. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
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Top comments
rttr 18
That's the same reaction my dad had when they found out my mom had it! Don't worry, just teach him what it really is. Also I'm sorry, but that is very funny.
doctorhook86 25
33: I have type 2 genital diabetes; my penis gets fat whenever a pretty girl gives it some sugar.
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Comments (123)
Elkrider 13
If he should later try meddling with educating the kid, have a blunt object handy...
LouAMT51B 2
Don't have kids with him. The human gene pool needs as much help as it can get.
Urpoppy 21
Having a partner that idiotic is grounds for divorce.
kitkatkit 4
Wow... It shocks me how many people are calling this guy an idiot, then they go on to say, "don't have kids with him". It's too late guys, she's already pregnant. Enlighten yourselves before you start calling someone else an idiot.
vaulter72 5
Idk what sadder the fact that he can reproduce or the fact that you still want to with him ha jk
indiablue 4
Kids? Your expecting to create more than one child with this idiot?
deransc 19
If you're seriously letting that idiot make kids with you then you deserve it.
Daederoth 10
Leave him before it's too late. Beauty fades, stupid is forever.
imaghostbusteryo 1
Find the definition of gestational and print it out and put it all over. The bathroom mirror, in his car, taped to his beer, in his shoes, on the fridge. He'll shut up eventually.
lostfaithinpppl 19
And why are you dating him, OP? And you are planning to have kids with him too?