Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML
Today, my dad went to the doctor to find out if he is autistic. When we walked in, the doctor asked why he wasn't testing if he was diabetic, effectively calling my dad fat. My dad was deeply offended, so I gave that jackass doctor an earful. But as it turns out, he was correct. My dad does have diabetes. FML
Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
Today, my family decided it'd be a great idea to berate me for not being excited enough for my brother and his wife's baby news. They told us on my birthday, adding that if I wasn't so fat I'd have one too. I have insulin-resistant PCOS. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
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Top comments
rttr 18
That's the same reaction my dad had when they found out my mom had it! Don't worry, just teach him what it really is. Also I'm sorry, but that is very funny.
doctorhook86 25
33: I have type 2 genital diabetes; my penis gets fat whenever a pretty girl gives it some sugar.
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Comments (123)
Epsilonyx 15
Kind of reminds me when I was 10 and I found out I had Type 1 Diabetes! I thought I was going to die because...you know...it's..."di"abetes.
loyeah 10
D:
animal50199 10
That's funny. Not that fact that you have diabetes! But the fact you thought you were going to die.
Steve95401 49
I hope your child has your intelligence and not your boyfriend's.
foxmatrix15 8
Ur giving him to much credit.. If he's just a boyfriend and thinks that way he'll soon be ur ex
Marissa1586 18
Tell him to look it up, then he'll know lol
animal50199 10
When you say,"such a great father to our kids do you mean your pregnant or do you just assume this is the 1, the father of your future children?" Sincerely, CONFUSED
tinagina 5
Gestational diabetes is diabetes that either develops or is diagnosed during pregnancy, so yes op is pregnant.
animal50199 10
Hey sorry I'm not a genius. I didn't go to med school. I'm still in middle school.
fliplover 8
And you chose to breed with this intellectual midget???
conqueror57 11
Neither of you could figure out how to use birth control correctly, so you'll make a wonderful pair of idiot parents.
whyusofat 17
Who said they didnt want kids?
conqueror57 11
We can't pretend kids aren't better off with two parents who work to make things best for the child. Having a baby with your "boyfriend" is 90% of the time a result of a wreckless, selfish decision.
StaminPrimer 0
#66 just because you decide to have kids before you get married does not making you wreckless, stupid, and selfish you dumbass. My parents did not plan to have neither my older brother nor myself. Yet here we are. Although they were married at the time, my mom was on birth control and my dad used a condom. For all you know OP and her boyfriend decided to have sex and she found out she was pregnant.
slydfox 8
@45 I'll forgive you because maybe you're just ignorant but 'Gestational' diabetes you only get when you're pregnant, hence the 'gestational' bit, but then maybe she's just carrying a giant parasite.
isaiaah 6
I would have thought the same thing, but unlike your boyfriend I actually would have listened to your description of it first. Because reading gestational made me think genitals
fsanchez9x 0
You picked him