Today, I thought the earwig infestation that had plagued my basement apartment for weeks had finally solved itself. Turns out the black widow infestation took care of it for me. Time to move. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in an effort to rearrange my bedroom, I planned to reroute my internet cables under my house. Then I found out about the black widow infestation. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, I was packing up to move when I decided to take a break. I went to get some water from the sink when a bug fell into my cup. Needless to say, I'm glad I'm moving. FML
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
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Top comments
hman1025 17
Fire is the only logical solution here
granpa_haribo 13
Exterminator be like "Sorry ma'm nothing left to do here, gonna have to burn the place down"
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Comments (52)
JoLeighK98 16
Oh god. I'm so sorry.
hman1025 17
Fire is the only logical solution here
SecundusSecunda 27
No such thing as logical in the face of such adversity One must use the ultimate firepower available If the entire neighborhood perishes so be it
Scorpio1691 29
I wonder if the fuel station sells at a bulk discount rate.
reaxion 25
Why can't I like this more than once?!
granpa_haribo 13
Exterminator be like "Sorry ma'm nothing left to do here, gonna have to burn the place down"
TheNewGuy03 29
A flamethrower is a solid investment.
Namenlos_fml 20
Yup. And great for clearing snow in the winter time
KeatonHanson 28
I hope you called somebody to take care of that situation
Tripartita 45
I'm surprised whatever deity is trying to exile you skipped right over locusts to black widows. They basically skipped over the triple dare of plagues.
pheizer01 10
I love how if theres an earwig infestation, which earwigs are ******* terrifying, everybody is like "oh no its fine", but the second a spider just meanders on by everybody loses their shit
CrassKal 27
They don't actually burrow into your ear, you know?
Draugen 16
Unlike earwigs, black widows are highly venomous. Might want to take that into consideration.
MetalxSoldier 26
Black widows aren't as fatal as one might assume and spiders usually don't bother you if you don't bother them. Spiders are actually very helpful in getting rid of pests which can cause harm to you or your home.
manofmerr 27
Have you never seen arachnophobia, IT, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or The Incredible shrinking man? Have you never played Limbo, Tera, The unfinished swan, or probably any RPG ever? You know what all of those things have in common? Giant, blood sucking, soul rending, EVIL in the form of SPIDERS! And a black widow is just plain lethal, forget scary.
TheNewGuy03 29
As nice as you might be for trying to comfort OP, it says he/she has an infestation of black widows, which puts OP at a very high risk for being bitten.
manofmerr 27
Or scared to death. Or the op might be spun up in a giant web and slowly suffocate. Or the op might just become spider man/woman...but thats unlikely, unlike death, which is likely...Or at the very least, a period of time in which the op wishes he/she were dead will come to pass if he/she were to get bit..
HoboMeth 36
or call an exterminator
SixthSinEnvy 39
Sounds like the story of the little old woman who swallowed a spider.
Etweens96 25
You must defeat the black widows with their natural enemy the praying mantis!!