Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, saying, "Hi." His response was, "I got your best friend pregnant." FML
Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
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Top comments
sullivankeara 25
Well she has some explaining to do.
maharb01 17
if you weren't thinking it before, you are now. good luck op
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Comments (85)
sullivankeara 25
Well she has some explaining to do.
Just_A_Tree 20
"Dexter! The **** you doing on a boat at this time of night throwing stuff the water?" "Uhh.. Definitely not disposing of a body." "Oh, okay! I was really worried that that specifically was what you were doing."
flee2321 10
Red flag!!!!
Wakachulak 22
I'd say she already explained everything.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
"the lady doth protest too much, methinks"
crudeandrudeguy 29
You're from Texas, can you just shoot her? Lol. JK.
yve1220 20
That's awkward...
Exodiafinder687 58
She only said that because you didn't notice that your phone accidentally autocorrected "Hey there" to "Hey *****." It was an honest mistake I'm sure.
rdenkewicz 11
Why would ***** be on his auto correct? Perhaps he has some explaining to do?
Duckzy 16
#25 take a joke
1dvos_grl3 21
#30 Oh the irony..
leopardwilliam 22
I think 31 meant the irony of her (30's) profile..?
muzy 23
I think that both 31 and 37 are confused as to what irony actually is. How ironic!
biebahood 15
due to the lack of iron(y) in this, I got anaemia
tantanpanda 26
I guess using irony for things that aren't even ironic is mainstream now.
Wakachulak 22
Is this some old quarrel?
A07 48
#31 refers to #30's description which is ironically 'Hey there'.
maharb01 17
if you weren't thinking it before, you are now. good luck op
lnheritance 19
Reassure her with, you're now single.
Cely988 29
IMO, OP should talk to his girlfriend first to clarify the situation, and then decide whether it's better to break up or not.
Vitotaylor36 13
Very rarely will talking about this shit actually make the truth come out. It's cheating. Nobody ever admits it unless they have no other option.
interesting33 37
Is it possible an old boyfriend was abusive or something and so she was worried you might think she was cheating for no reason too? I don't know, but it could be a possibility.
anonymous100000 17
she's actually cheating. no reason to get defensive if nothing is wrong. sorry OP.
cheeeksss 29
I swear that I am not hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium!
Vitotaylor36 13
Sounds like the 21st century edition of Clue.
dannnngthatsux 19
Ah, but 46, what was the weapon used?
Soulsbane96_fml 11
His rod
tbro47 23
Well the obvious answer would be that she has a guilty conscience, but it's possible that something happened recently that made her feel the need to reassure you. Either way you should get more information before taking any kind of action.
KK3137 31
Yes! A sane reply as opposed to all the other "dump her ass!" and "no reason to get defensive if nothing's wrong". I'm not excluding the possibility that she is cheating, but I definitely agree that you should find out more and not make any rash decisions that may end up breaking up a mutually loyal relationship.
WingWalker 2
So what's the problem? She's not cheating on you. You should be glad.
brand125 17
you dont get the fml do you?
Econforthwin 15
Why would someone randomly say I'm not cheating on you unless they actually were cheating and were paranoid.
SystemofaBlink41 27
There should really be a sarcasm banner in FML.
WingWalker 2
I do, i just think it's stupid.
_kyleG_ 34
Tooootally not suspicious
ohSNAPyall 27
*whistles nonchalantly*