Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML
Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
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Top comments
Lilbabynid3 3
So did you send one?
pointless07 1
douche.
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Comments (241)
notsorandomguy 18
Keeper?
margiemayhem 2
I say yes
isminei 6
Clever guy. IMO.
brick_man33 14
**** or gtfo, would have been a reasonable response too. sorry 'bout your boobies.
cass1_l0ve 13
I believe she only got one boob bit... O.o but hey, that's a plus side for her! Cause then when she sent the pic (if she did) then he wouldn't be able to see how uneven they are xD
chrisauh 4
Tit or gtfo*
tommyfox 19
Do you mean your EX-boyfriend?
blackstar994 5
I'm sure there was two sides to this story..
ninjuh_wingman 29
I agree with him. Pics or it didnt happen.
apology89 2
Dump him
alyspar2 5
Dump his ass!
PeeblesWiggins 0
And go ahead and dump the rest of him too. :P
Clavey 6
Why? He just wanted to see her chest, it's perfectly normal(:
norskchic 9
ouchie.
supercrack11 1
Lamo
mimeshadow 1
Lol. U got some boyfriend.
flockz 20
i bet W feels bad now.
mintyfroyo 0
What does he mean by "it didn't happen?"
ilikeapplejuice 7
it's a phrase used primarily stating that the person doesn't believe their claim unless it's shown by a picture for proof.
cupcakemonster12 0
That question mark should have gone outside the quotation mark.
cass1_l0ve 13
^ hey, really??? Punctuation nazi much?!? That was the most pointless comment ever. There's no need to point out a simple punctuation mistake. Like, what a major party pooper that is.
mintyfroyo 0
Thank you 45, I don't know why I didn't get it.