Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
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Top comments
Lebeaugars95 20
Your boyfriend sounds really fun
PhatCake 10
Did you tell him you were sober?
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Comments (60)
Lebeaugars95 20
Your boyfriend sounds really fun
_parth 20
Or maybe Op's been drunk before and done something like that?!
blazingshot147 19
I'd count it positive that he cares for her.
helloboyzder 13
I mean, what did you want him to do? Drop absolutely everything and come over to your house?
ChristinePi 36
Maybe she was just being flirty and giving him something to look forward to when he got home.
helloboyzder 13
I see my fallacy here. God, that sounded dickish
whinthy 18
You also need to text him back and tell him to pull his head out of his ass.
gramirez23 9
M.O.B
TristanCamper 11
Seems he knows you well.
factsarelife 7
wow. Ass much?
finiclepie 6
Not with that attitude
chrisstachon 30
lmfao
NomeDMF 17
That ungrateful bastard. Sorry OP.
PhatCake 10
Did you tell him you were sober?
JocelynKaulitz 28
Probably not if she may as well just use that as an excuse to have a drink.
TheInquisitor 3
Someone (and most of the commenters) are vastly over reacting to a misunderstanding.
nakagi 4
people on fml seem to down vote things pointlessly even when things make perfect sense
TheInquisitor 3
They downvote anything that makes sense, they only want emotional reactionary comments, not clear minded comments that are fair to all parties involved in the FML post.
PenguinBitch 44
You probably interrupted him taking "suggestive shots" of his ass and legs.
im_a_black_guy 10
At first I was like what, then I read the other fml and no I think this is by far the best comment here