Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
Hey, it's what's inside that counts.
Adeptasaurus 12
I swear, if someone says it...
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Comments (154)
Omfgitsmia 15
I have to ask why he didn't stop you from chugging it all knowing he put it there?
8born8 18
How was he to know that OP would chug the glass? (If that is what OP did.) Maybe he excused himself for a moment and op drained the glass before he returned?
Omfgitsmia 15
I would think he would stay and monitor the glass considering his plan. Besides. sipping and chugging look completely different and unless the ring was small, she had a ways to go before she ingested it.
Helldemon 32
If the ring had some weight to it, as soon as she started chugging it could have slid into her mouth before the bf really had a chance to say anything.
UsernameTaken14 18
Well, you can guarantee its safety for at least 6 more hours. Nobody will want to steal it! :)
figures101 5
What if she had said no? That would be one craptacular situation.
davincidasecond 24
Well, were you sipping it or gulping it down ...? I mean it's still a dumb idea to hide a ring in a drink but I'm assuming that the reason it's put in wine is under the assumption that the person will just sip it. Or maybe I'm wrong.
glitterkuro 18
From my experience, even when you're sipping wine, you gulp down the last drop (because you have to properly tilt the glass to get the last bit out, right?) And if the ring was concealed in that last little bit of wine, I reckon it would have been easy to swallow all in one. (Plus if it had been like complimentary wine which sometimes restaurants provide if you tell them you plan to propose, they basically only give you enough for three mouthfuls, half-filling really thin glasses) In which case, the boyfriend should have really prompted her at some point. Like "look in your glass" or whatever, before she swallowed it all!
cryssycakesx3 23
if it were at the bottom, it'd clink around.
8born8 18
55 I agree, surely if someone put something like a ring in your drink, as you neared the bottom, wouldn't you feel it against your lips, tongue, teeth etc. OP must have just opened the hatchet and downed the glass for a bottoms up.
kashinc 1
oh em gee!
hawtrox22 13
that's a shitty situation. sorry, i didnt see anyone else say it so.. i had to :3
VeganVampyre 27
So... You didn't bother to read any of the other comments first? Brilliant.
Girlie7 11
R u gonna wear it when u find it?
ksks1234 33
No, she is going to flush it down the toilet and demand a new one.
Girlie7 11
I pity her boyfriend .....
awkwardloveannie 28
did you chug it? I don't see how you can swallow it if you're drinking normally
ChakatBlackstar 29
Why do people still do this one? This always seems to happen.
RedPillSucks 33
You've seen this happen before?
carelessxdanger 9
at least you'll have an interesting proposal story (: sorry you will be digging through all your feces. :/ be thorough!