Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
Hey, it's what's inside that counts.
Adeptasaurus 12
I swear, if someone says it...
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Comments (154)
atay94 2
its whats inside that counts right? haha
interexntsc 12
really, that's what you get for slopping your food.
pandarammer 7
I have a feeling it will hurt even more coming out then it did going in. Prepare yourself OP.
8born8 18
56 I concur, but I wonder if the ring was heavy, (compared to the fluid lightness of the wine,) why didn't OP feel it on her tongue, teeth, back of her throat etc? I know wine can taste like metal sometimes, but surely one would notice a solid mass/object in ones' mouth when one went to swallow?...
misUnderstood23 9
Your going to have a hard time with that one, how is that possible? :( and thats some story to tell about how he proposed.
The_Tenth_Doctor 14
Im gay
Scynistr 20
What happens when it comes out.. Are you still gonna use it? Lol
sarahbevan20 11
Clever idea, however, the execution may have been.... Not preferable.
breakinlegs 19
you really want a man that smart to raise children with you?
littlepoose 8
don't you think that's a little judgmental? her fiance (?) was being romantic in the best way he knew how
buckdharma 38
What a strange way to scratch your ass.