Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
Hey, it's what's inside that counts.
Adeptasaurus 12
I swear, if someone says it...
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Comments (154)
sabrinalynn22 19
At least you have a caring boyfriend who tried to give you a ring.
ViviMage 40
Wine is not beer! Don't drink it that fast!!
worldclassrager 41
Did you say yes? Or did I miss something...
kellyem2 20
I begged my bf not to put my ring in any food items because I was so scared of this happening. I hope that everything turns out ok in the end. :(
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I've never understood the concept of proposing by putting the ring in a wine glass or even a piece of food. It doesn't appeal to me romantically, and it seems very unsafe for this exact reason. OP, did you give your boyfriend an answer? So sorry you ended up swallowing it. :(
Sheh_fml 25
This is why hiding the ring in food/drink is just about the dumbest way to propose. Even in everything goes as planned, you'll be left with a sticky, dirty ring that will most likely require professional cleaning to get everything out of every little nook and cranny.
HockeyGirl97 2
take some laxatives and then find it XD
wvcheesehead 13
Have someone hint you are hiding drugs in your ass... the police will do the dirty work.
WasabiMars 21
I guess it's time to hover an industrial strength magnet before you flush. No? I'll let myself out.
katie_xoxo3 16
I hope you find it, if you don't that's a lot of money going down the toilet :/