Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML
Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML
Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML
Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML
Today I realized that my boyfriend has more money on his Metro card than I have in my entire bank account. FML
Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
But you live in the States! You don't keep pounds in the bank! The Brits do that. Or do you weigh 250 dollars?
LiterOfCola 16
~Well I hope you are a fat shit OP!~
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Comments (202)
OfficeNinja 5
I hope you weigh a million pounds then!
billyz77 24
Even if I was a mouse, I'd outweigh the amount I have in the bank. Guaranteed annuities seem a safer bet.
epicfailbazinga 4
I hope you aren't a millionaire
Capt_Oblivious 10
Not worth your weight huh?
broncos67 9
1. Get a job 2. Buy a gym membership
NeonPopRocks 14
Your either morbidly obese, or broke as ****.
Shit_talkin_chik 5
I feel you! :-(
mercsl65 7
Hey I'm from Davis! We should read some fmls together! I'm really kidding. I stopped meeting people from the interwebz after the last time...
Kaerunoutof 3
Run short. lol
rafty4life 3
So does 95% of the African population. Most of them don't even have bank accounts. Quit bitching, work more, and spend less.
jerry2011 4
Hey, don't lose weight then, you must be one son of a bitch.