Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
truthishly 0
maybe u should have stopped?! you know since she was saying "ouch" maybe u should have checked to make sure she was okay?!
justsayfuck 5
Guess she was too tired for faking.
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Comments (90)
Fylminesawsome 5
At least she let you when she wasn't into it. And it still counts
Dravite 9
doesn't matter, had sex?
wickedclown321 3
My ex wife did that to me so I would make myself finish and leave her lying naked to clean herself up. I'm now divorced and have a girlfriend who I Have wild and crazy sex with.
steam_engenius 21
Your ex "did that" to you? You mean, you failed to please her so you regularly just used her body and left her there to clean up your mess after you had your fun? What a fantastic husband you were. Gross, man.
AzeHole 4
two words....Wrong Hole
itssnotfunny 24
ouch :/
scottishoatmeal 22
Wow that must have been an awkward situation
[email protected] 6
I was married to her once....once!
lucasj23 11
good God man. didn't you think that ouch was a clear indication she was not enjoying herself? and yet it sounds like you kept going. maybe you shoikd learn to please her.
peterblack67 9
Holy God! Did the first ouch not give you a clue as to how much she was not enjoying it? That sounds closer to assault than making love. I feel very bad for your poor wife.