Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML
Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML
Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML
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Top comments
cartmen73 0
Yikes! Don't get glued to a partner!
ICATiger 13
That's a sticky situation
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Comments (158)
GoW_Chick 15
That is one of victoria's secrets I didn't need to know.
Not_You_Again 15
HAHAHA if I could favourite your comment I would!
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Thank you for making me vomit all over my keyboard.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
OMG everyone is saying this is gross but I'm sitting here cracking up! And I'm a female! lol Sorry to hear about that OP, my goodness what kind of medication are you on that your underwear sticks to your crotch skin? YOUCH! I hope you shave, pulling your underwear down might be even more of a burden otherwise. :o Oh, and the way this was worded was equally amusing. :D
The_Hitdude 12
Maybe that's why you're cracking up. Because you have a ****** aswell. I'm a guy and in no way do I find this amusing. It's actually pretty disgusting. Not gonna lie, did a little baby barf in my mouth...
MrsWojtowicz 16
Taurus_ChicKa, did you catch OP's name? It's involuntary waxing. Haha. And hit dude. . . Women DO have bodily functions, ya know? Ever read the book "Everybody Poops"? We burp, fart, poop, menstruate, pick our noses, sweat, have discharge (and yes, under certain circumstances, it can be "unusual"), and oh so much more. It's called being human. Grow up.
Duck_Goose33 3
At least your husband didn't try to use your vaginal secretions to flip his book pages, they'd probaly stick together.
br0ccoli 15
Good god I hope ur hubby doesn't borrow library books...
imtooshy 18
oh god, I feel sorry for you.....must have been quite painful.
pafella 0
is it bad that im kinda turned on by that?
Birdie_Sage 0
No need for another pair of underwear!
EduJav321 24
It would be funny if during sex you and your boyfriend got stuck
afunnyterdcody 5
H town mexican haha you from the ward streets or what
SexyQueen0905 24
I threw up a little when I read this.
kaykay20 0
Most likely was due to sitting a long time while it dried. Tends to happen when a person wears a pad during the time they are on their period.