Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Jesus. You're an arachnophobic living in Australia. FYL, OP.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Rule #2: Always Double Tap.
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Comments (130)
grashopper8 7
I'm sure it just curled up and died somewhere. Someday you'll vacuum it up without knowing it. Sleep well!
mxij 13
Burn the house down.
Bumblebrea99 14
No silly, you need to burn the neighbourhood down!
somuchfeels 11
You must bathe the entire city in a cleansing fire.
xiolabd 3
It probably died shortly after since it was badly injured
Cartruck10 3
That is why u always make sure it is dead if ur not shur hit it again
marcusadam21 2
Rule 1: kill Rule 2: capture Rule 3: flush..
buckdharma 38
No op, it didn't vanish, trust me. It's watching you as you read this. He just let out an evil little laugh when he heard you yawn. Did you hear it?
RoseCrystal 17
Zombie Spiders.....
PenguinBitch 44
It's smeared all over the book.
marcranger 29
You've obviously never seen Aliens, or you'd have known to take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
napalm_uniqorn 27
That poor spider! It would be suffering a long and painful death. You have to find it again and save it from hours of agony and kill it properly instead of just injure it!!