Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
chineseguy 0
you gotta go when you gotta go!
Darko21 5
Old man 1. Anonymous man 0.
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Comments (111)
anorexicbarbie 8
I have a hard time believing this, but if it really did happen, that sucks!
Bcaw 0
sorry man, I really had to go
marinus_fml 20
Don't doubt it's validity! You risk getting banned.
chineseguy 0
you gotta go when you gotta go!
iSitt 0
As you get older, you learn to appreciate the simpler things.
panchod1234 0
should have scooped his poop... whatever happened to bieng a good boy
MaximilianMarche 0
topping for your sammich op
Lucidium 0
Today I read an FML of how a guy sat down next to someone eating their lunch, and took a dump. I was eating my breakfast, FML.
johnnyexpl0sion 0
Man, I hope I'm this awesome when i get older..
mandy_Reeves 0
did he then steal your sandwich and run?
emo_fail_child 0
where I come from the sidewalk ***** on the old man :)
stuffhappens223 7
True but eew
marleyvk 0
So.....? Be nice and go get him some toilet paper!
marleyvk 0
k whah?
marleyvk 0
the pic before was of the director quentin tarantino...
Infamous_Hawk 6
penis
gabsta 3
hahahahhaa
PurpleAddict 0
Did you hurl your lunch out?
daymann 0
did you word something awkwardly?
Darko21 5
Old man 1. Anonymous man 0.
chelle_starlight 0
wow...there has been a lot of these fml posts lately...I guess people don't use restrooms anymore...
marinus_fml 20
And when they do, the try taking 'standing dumps' and shit all over the floor.
chelle_starlight 0
^^^ lmao
cdatribe23 0
I woulda done the same thing:D jk;)
an_villian 0
do it! no jk
cdatribe23 0
don't push me guys! I just might!!! lol jk
MrDeconstruct 0
Yum, the dookie lunch special.
marinus_fml 20
That has got to be the most used joke on this website.
dynky 3
poor guy. can you imagine what it's like to live on the street with no access to a bathroom?
anorexicbarbie 8
No access to a bathroom? Where do you live? There's public bathrooms almost everywhere...
deven329 1
ppublic bathrooms! the guys probly old and confused