Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML
Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
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Top comments
furburger 0
Well, it's good that you have a roommate named "Mutha ******' Son of a Bitchin' **** *****" or you might have been there all damn night.
mrahhhhh 21
Right tighty, lefty loosey also works for most locks OP! Or if you had the key upside down, never mind.
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Comments (54)
Doortje 30
30 minutes huh? Idiot.
perdix 31
Didn't you see "A Christmas Story?" You should know that a stream of shouted profanities can work magic. It's well known that a few "F dash dash dash" bombs can open up frozen locks.
_TheOneAndOnly 0
Ah, yes. Screaming at inanimate objects is the perfect way to rid stress. And the perfect way to make yourself look like a total jackass. F our lives for having to live with idiots like you.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
So you're telling me you were where ever you were for 20minutes+, screaming at an inanimate object, forgetting to turn the lock left? It's one thing if it didn't work and you turned right AND left but seriously? How stupid can you be?
UpsidedownKayak 9
felipe, did you not understand that is exactly what Doc said? I am sure you did not bring any clarity for Doc's understanding of OP's intelligence. Thank you for stating the obvious. Doc, it is a shame that not everyone can understand your humor. Edit: for #14
yeppers6502 0
FML really needs a "you're stupid" button.
musickraze45 0
hahaha that's a brilliant idea!!
jokerstyle33 0
talk about your epic fail. don't have children cause if they would be anything like you op then I'd feel sorry for them.
Abbila 8
happens to me all the time
Zombie65 0
duh dumbass
FukYurLife_89 0
your a retard... in my (hangove voice)