Today, I signed the contract for my 18th book sale. I went to school to be a serious writer. My latest book is a gay werebear story that involves male pregnancy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Denial
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
Today, it's been 1 month since I've accepted that I'm gay, 1 week since telling my strict, southern baptist, bible-thumping parents, 1 day since my mom stopped crying and my dad finally spoke to me, and 1 hour since discovering that I'm pregnant. FML
Reading skills
Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML
Yeet it time
Today, I got fired for not being mature enough. I just found out I’m pregnant. FML
Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
The early bird gets the worm!
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Top comments
TomeDr 25
I know it sucks but if you’re paying the bills, be grateful. You can always continue to crank out silly fluff while writing better stories under a different name.
MaleficusTheUnsung 16
Still a better love story than twilight
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
TomeDr 25
I know it sucks but if you’re paying the bills, be grateful. You can always continue to crank out silly fluff while writing better stories under a different name.
mayaklast 12
She probably doesn't have the time to do that - to make a living out of writing books, you have to write one book after the other and especially when you write 'supermarket quality' stuff, it's not usual to have sold books you haven't even written yet and to have very short deadlines for them. I'd like to point out here that most writers don't have WE or holiday and generally work everyday of the year. So yeah, you write what you're ask to if you want to make a living out of it. And it sucks, like it sucks to not be doing what you were set out to do in any line of work.
julfunky 29
Poor you.
honestjane 22
I can't tell if you're trolling or humble bragging. There's plenty of writers out there not getting paid at all. Be grateful for it. It's like complaining that the drive thru gave you the wrong sauce for your chicken nuggets in front of a starving man.
mayaklast 12
If they don't get paid at all, they are not writers. Being a novelist is a job. Exactly like fixing your sink doesn't make you a plumber, writing a story and putting it yourself on amazon doesn't make you a writer.
honestjane 22
It means they're not a professional writer. Just because you don't get paid doesn't negate the time and effort put into it. There are artists that don't become popular until after their deaths. Does that mean that van Gogh and Vermeer weren't painters? There's a reason that "starving artist" is a term.
Gubbon 17
Actually yes, it does.
MaleficusTheUnsung 16
Still a better love story than twilight
Yudith 28
What's the name of the book and where can we buy it?
Leviathene 34
google 'Beware the Werebear" I assume this is it :P
Sinshine 28
So you're writing garbage and then want sympathy for writing garbage?
Razell 13
Chuck Tingle, is that you?
XxNightwingxX 21
If it makes you feel better, I'd read it.
thisisbutaname 38
You gotta do what you gotta do. Lots of musicians churned out many god-awful albums because they got them money and fame enough to sing what they really wanted to afterwards.
hfnsjsnsjzns 18
can't wait to read it