Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
Today, I went to a book signing by my favorite writer, but I was so nervous that I forgot what I wanted to say, and ended up blurting out something completely random and embarrassing about the hat they were wearing. FML
Today, I received a book about sailboats. I'd ordered a book about makeup. FML
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
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Top comments
LacyWings 3
Well I hope things get better for you.
tigrouficele2012 44
...what book was this? O_o
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Comments (196)
LacyWings 3
Well I hope things get better for you.
Keyman1212 14
What? I'm so confused by this FML...
iLikeReadingFMLs 2
LOL Nice Twilight Reference @7
Bowser6622 5
Change that last b.
Shrike 24
what the hell is so confusing about the FML??
Slim2306 10
Eloquence isn't appreciated enough these days
Keyman1212 14
The line "to get my works published" was added to this FML almost immediately after it was posted, however, I commented when the FML ended at "(hehe boobs)"
dreamering 16
Keyman, why don't you try to post a new comment instead of replying # 1 all the time?
Keyman1212 14
Because my comments all pertained to the comment on #1. I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Hypocrite.
EnEl_Infierno 15
I can't belive I'm saying this, but thank you mods. That was just annoying.
shortstuff9519 0
Well that sucks (hehe sucks)
firefighter_mike 1
52 how original.
zachwass 0
Original ! (hehe original)
Keyman1212 14
Or going to a magical school where you're suddenly somebody. Because everyone wants to be someone.
moshimoshi1993 8
I'm sorry but Harry Potter is far superior to Twilight. JK is actually a wonderful author, whereas Stephenie Meyer seems to think just because she owns a thesaurus, she too can be an author.
ItsTheKing 10
I posted words then continued to open a parenthesis, signify laughing then repeating a word, just to close the parenthesis before it went mainstream......
IStillReadBooks 8
A thesaurus she doesn't ever use
nuhuh 1
On the up side, you did get something published, even if it was an FML.
stro88 6
121 good point always awesome to be an optimist. Just talk about sex in your book always riles up the readers and you're guaranteed a number of audience.
ummiforget 0
I don't. (-_-)
ummiforget 0
Btw that was directed to 69.
FiFiLovee 26
That's from The House Of Night isn't it? Zoe is always saying stuff like that. Also I've read the series several times.
crihs 1
???
katgoesmeow 0
Lol this is number 1 and so am I !
ThreeSheetsGone 12
You're an idiot.
AlexRen 21
some great book.
crabbyabby718 0
Hehe book
101autie 0
I
101autie 0
* I
101autie 0
Gaah my phone is jacked! I heart booobies! I was trying to say!
abbyelizabeth 9
Sounds like you were in the Bestselling TEEN section OP. Try the adult section to get your mind off things.
Daralea 21
abby, it saddens me to admit that the "adult" section of the bookstore is no better. If I see my sister read another one of those 'shopaholic' or 'something blue' books I'm going to shoot an arrow right though it.
DrainedOfSanity 4
Dude. This guy probably just SUCKS. Timothy Zhan an KJ Anderson and his wife have no problems.
allinicolesmh 0
Wait, when did this Fml go from books to boobs??
white16sox 19
I know right? I'm very confused what this fml is about
moonballsFTW 0
Um, guys, she was quoting the book. " " that's what those things called quotation marks tend to symbolize. She was pissed cause something so shallow and retarded could get published and be a too seller. While her manuscript was rejected..
tigrouficele2012 44
...what book was this? O_o
PopRocks14 0
Probably some shit by Stephenie Meyer.
xleanne_aLly 23
House of night by p.c cast. It's still about vampires though.
PopRocks14 0
LMFAO Figures.
apndi 9
Ooh I thought it was House of Night. That sentence sounded familiar. But yeah, House of Night is actually pretty good. Much better than Twilight, anyway.
sabrinalmfaoo 0
I think it was Snookie's book.
Wicked361 8
53 & 59 I luuv those books well I did in 5th grde I still read them tho
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Anything is a better read than Twilight. But as a fire starter, nothing burns longer or brighter, except maybe Lord of the Rings and a couple of Stephen King titles (Stephen King is great, but "Needful Things" and "Dreamcatcher" had a huge 400 page buildup for an awesome climax, then it just flatlined.)
kira1366 0
It was the first book (MARKED), when Zoey first entered the house of night. She was talking about Nefert's "great boobs" and how she wanted them.
taptaptapity 2
83- Waaaaay back then, huh?
kreimeier 0
Can't go wrong with boobs, I'm not complaining.
immortal628 20
Also, boobs are always great in books because you decide what they look like.
instnt1nfction 17
Bumpy and lumpy
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If it's a picture book, such as National Geographic or Playboy, then you're kinda stuck with what you got.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Op means that in order for her to have a best seller she needs to write sleazy books.
HomelessMuslim 0
I can provide the pictures...
fadingfaith 4
No shit Sherlock.
minisquid 9
Or get on Oprah, who can mind control viewers to compulsively buy crap.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Who was asking?
EnEl_Infierno 15
#100 #110 Alot of you missed alot when the fml was posted, it was actually edited right after it was posted because apparently nobody was getting it, keyman was one of several, and apparently some were still grasping as to what the op was even after several others and myself explained it. for example read comment 16 and his replys, and even now some still don't get it.
EnEl_Infierno 15
#82 that's just wrong. lol.
J_Shorty_17 6
i can't understand this FML no matter how many times i read it... Unless it's just me.
PeteyPablo12308 20
It's just you..
Ilikethenamesam 3
No it's not...
dillynf39 3
I don't understand why he's being thumbed down.. I don't understand it either. I'm sure lots of people don't. I didn't see you explaining it Pablo
EnEl_Infierno 15
post 15 lads.
JANe_WAz_HERe 0
It's not just you... I dnt get it either
white16sox 19
Oh thank you 91 I see now. I thought op said (hehe boobs) as something random
slushpup9696 12
They're in quotes, so no.
SadinSherman 16
Read 15's post it sums it up
boyz141 3
Wow
LaydiexSkull 3
Well, everyone likes boobs, OP. Can't argue with that.
TripOnShoelaces 0
Hey, your picture is pretty hardcore.
LaydiexSkull 3
Thanks man, your pic is pretty sexy