Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
BountyBass 13
And so you should
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Comments (305)
IchimaruGin 5
F your neighbor's life. You deserve to feel like a dick.
MidnaLink 35
I'm only thumbing that down 'cause your pic is of Gin Ichimaru
THE_A_TEEN 28
I thumbed you down simply because you ignored the comment and focused on the commentor's picture. Douchebag...
IchimaruGin 5
50- Finish watching Bleach, and then come back and judge Gin, bro.
MidnaLink 35
Already have. So don't assume I didn't watch it all... so far
MidnaLink 35
and #64, I'll say what I want, and I can say that I hate his pic.
ghostlilac 25
MidnaLink: Nobody's telling you what you can or can't say. 64 did the exact same thing you did (mockingly) so your retort to him/her was hypocritical
THE_A_TEEN 28
Say what you want, eh? Look what that got you. Also, you thumbed him down because his profile pic is an anime character you hate for some reason, even though his comment was practically sending the same message everyone else is saying. In other terms you might understand: you ignored his comment but you focused on his picture, acting like an immature brat and thumbed him down WHILE admitting you did so. A stupid move in the FML community.
meganb13 1
Which is?
Wheredidgrungego 12
At least they didn't sting your dick? Either way, you should pay for their hospital bill and bake them a nice cake. Next time, Beehive yourself and things like these won't happen!
MidnaLink 35
I think dinner for a year would be more acceptable
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
He can use the large about of honey he had just gotten
muggle_born 6
I see what you did there.
JeanVaJean 6
Why trying to bother the bees in the first place? That's awful, Op.
igive 29
and to think they are my favorite insect. unlike mosquitos and flies, they actually benefit us.
twisted_cherub 14
Flies have a great benefit. They feed on our garbage. Their larva eat the remains of animals too rotted for scavengers or carrion. Although mosquitoes don't benefit us directly, they do make up the primary source of food for several hundred other species: various birds, fish, spiders, other insects, lizards and amphibians would have to adapt to a new food source. Some would make the change. Others would not and a chain reaction would spread farther up the food chain until we feel the effects. All life has purpose.
imboredareyou 1
Woah... That was deep..
igive 29
i know they all have a purpose, but i still like bees better. as a person who lives in a major agricultural area, i appreciate bees more than other insects. which is why i'm dissapointed in OP
blahmemeblah 3
You should feel that way.
doodlecloud 27
Wow...I really hoped you learn from this mistake, even if it is a bit late. YDI, your neighbours didn't...
Go_Away_141998 4
Well at least you feel bad. Here's a tip, next time you want to harass innocent bees, make sure they can't get away to hurt anyone but yourself.
LostThePlot 3
Enough bee stings at one time really can kill. I hope you weren't speaking literally when you said "slaughter".
alanaaretusiixo 0
Sorry but that's Hilarous ...
heyred 11
Yeah, death by anaphylactic shock is really funny. Grow up.
MidnaLink 35
How the hell is that funny in any way????
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Monkey see monkey do.
stolencookie 17
Soooooo horrible, but I admit I started cracking up like a crazy person in public because of the wording. Then I also felt like a dick. :(
katcot99 11
Because it'd his fault he killed his neighbors? Yes because thats funny.
superswagbro 7
It's hilarious how much of a dumbass you are.
The_Hitdude 12
Honey crap OP! You should bee ashamed of yourself. I would hive kicked your ass! ...After I got out of the hospital, of course. They're probably black and yellow with stings. You're a poisonous person, and was NOT okay. Now that I got that out of my system, I'll go back to lurking.
RoseCrystal 17
You sir, can go f**k yourself for being that stupid and potentially murdering that family.
Calyx_fml 22
Potentially? I think slaughtered means that the bees did murder the family.