Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
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Top comments
plaidrabbit 0
Holy crap, you ranted for five blocks? About how he deserved to *die*?! Anger issues much?
ManiMartinixo 0
YDI for talking shit
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Comments (256)
cptballard 0
hilarious. You deserved it.
PredyJessica 0
-fyl for being a mean bish-
coffeennicotine 0
YDI. Bitches like you just need to die, too, you know.
whatthefrench711 0
i would dump you in a second if I were your boyfriend having to listen to you bitch for FIVE blocks over something SO stupid that had NOTHING to do with you. Dumb bitch
Mr_Positive 3
you deserved it for being a total bitch, you can't ever say someone deserves to die and plus it can happen to anyone that they get hit by a cab - so what? it doesn't have to be their fault, and it definitely doesn't mean they should die. I actually now think you are the biggest bitch I have met on this site, as #177 said, Im surprised your bf haven't dumped your ass. And of course according to you, everyone on this thread need to die too dont they ...
crazieeli 0
dude, you are a bitch
MechaMew2 0
I'm amazed that after he walked away he managed to somehow reappear right in front of you 5 blocks away. You seem to imply that the tourist walked opposite your direction.
scateice 0
Easy, say," **** you, you god damn asshole"
freshtastic 0
That was ******* hilarious i would've loved to witness this in real life and the expression on your face when he turns around and verbally rapes you. YDI
drinkupgorgeous 0
WHAT THE HELL. he gets hit by a car and you, being the nosy bitch you are, say that you wish he would die because something happened to him that doesn't even involve you? i'm glad your boyfriend laughed. serves you right at least your boyfriend has a heart to put up with you and not talk crap about random people. i bet you're the kind of person who gets mad at people if they look at you funny.