Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
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Top comments
plaidrabbit 0
Holy crap, you ranted for five blocks? About how he deserved to *die*?! Anger issues much?
ManiMartinixo 0
YDI for talking shit
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Comments (256)
noobslayer92 0
You're one whiney ass bitch. Surprises me that you actually have a boyfriend.
Leaveittosteven 0
Ha ha, typical woman, hiding behind a man when her shit blows back in her face. "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." - Robert E. Howard
bambition7 0
wow seriously you were ranting for five blocks??? you need a life...people dont deserve to die just for making mistakes...grow up YDI
calicokitea 0
Really five blocks? You serious? You definitely deserved that, he's the one that should be saying FML. You should be learning how to stop all forms of gossiping and talking shit about people. You deserved the laughter from your boyfriend too, albeit he should be saying FML for being with you.
iheartmyfduplife 0
You can get mad, but FIVE BLOCKS. No wonder that guy called you a bitch. & what if the tourist WAS paying attention and the cab just zipped around. could've been the other guys fault. What if the guy had actually died ? I don't think you'd be so high up on your throne then .
Sarahhh4978 0
You might be the rudest person in the world.
suckingatlife 9
Lets think how many FMLS are like this and why do not talk about people in public. It comes back and bites you in the ass. That was rude though what you said
c_7_8_9 0
You sound like a b****
InspiredByGaGa 8
YDI for not realizing that if someone is right in front of you, they can hear you.
pchi85 0
Traffic laws are different everywhere.. surprisingly it's not common sense to not cross the street at a red light in heavy traffic.. visit Vietnam, parts of India, Morocco and you'll see.. people laugh at you for being too scared to cross the street with cars and motorbikes zooming pass you.. YDI definately