Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
iluvmycatz 0
don't pick up people you don't know from the street... you might want to get tested for an STD
krunkrooster 0
#25 that was a pretty dumb remark because you also just described a teenager!!
shalvius 3
#30 yea but he have awesome day :D
Good_old_Grim 8
Given that he stole your bread and cheese and not your booze, I don't think there's much to worry about.
truelyajerk 0
Whats wrong with being homeless? You don't know his circumstances...and if only bread and cheese was missing than maybe he was a good guy. You have your TV, your purse, your jewelry. If you couldn't tell he was homeless he either takes good care of himself, or you are lacking observational skills. Frankly I have no sympathy for you, he was a nice guy, times are tough, and you are judging him for being homeless. Go to a clinic and get tested, and tested again in 3 months since thats how long it takes for HIV antibodies to form. If you are clean, then you just made a huge ass of yourself.
mylifesucks_alot 0
In this economy, any one of us could become homeless at any moment. Its scary to think about. That said, if you have a problem with sleeping with people who are less economically sound than you are, maybe you should get to know them a little bit before you bring them home and spread your legs.
wallythedolly 0
More like, Today, I slept with a hobo. I now have AIDS. FML.
Tri_fml 5
You ****** a bum. HA. Sleeping with random people = retarded. Hope you got an itchy STD and learned your lesson. Best of luck with the nasty ones though :)
Touch_fml 0
I have no idea how he could be good looking!!!
Neenertastic 0
What did his cardboard sign say? Will offer sex for bread and cheese? I agree, though with the other posters, you should take care of your body and not hook up like that...be careful, hooking up with strangers can be dangerous. /momtalk