Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
LetsPretend 0
For sleeping with a random person, you kind of deserved that.
TheNinjaCat 10
Here Here xD
kel_riv 0
while I don't disagree with what most people are saying, I definitely feel for you. I don't know what I would do if that happened to me!
Mikeymikey 4
well. it's abit wrong say FML because of the homeless guy.. i mean how many people are homeless these days in these difficult times... doesnt mean hes not an educated person. All the time u guys made out he didn't smell, sound or act funny right?? so he was normal... hope u enjoyed the sex... and next time go to his place!
bitchplease69_fml 0
You don't really see many homeless chicks here or else I'd sleep with them. Please, god, more ladies on the STREETS!
bitchplease69_fml 0
Like bums **** a lot, you guys are ******* stupid. They drink liquor and take drugs.
texmas 0
You deserved it for taking some strange man home. If he didn't smell or act funny or appear to be smashed, wtfever. You mad because you didn't hook up with a doctor? Aim higher, don't mean men at crappy clubs. Or maybe you just don't attract high calibur men.
Flying_Pink_Lulz 0
Well if you're gonna sleep with random men you happen to chance upon outside clubs, this is the risk you take. I am sorry to say, but you can't expect all strangers you hook up with to be financially stellar. This is your own fault. :-)
Jimboom 12
Soooo what? He slept with you and then stole all your bread and cheese? Or were you referring to his cockcheese? He must have been a very well dressed and clean hobo for you to mistake him for just another guy. Either way I don't really see this as a FML... just don't tell your friends. Chances are you would never live this one down if you do
Rick_S 3
Sorry, but F-Your-Life? You had sex with someone who stole your bread and cheese. HE'S HOMELESS. Get a little perspective. F-HIS-Life.
secretish 0
Lol. An attractive homeless man....we dont have attractive homeless people in South Africa...