Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
Assmilk 0
LOL ****.
madame_malfoy 4
if i were you i wouldn't waste my time posting my stupidity on fml...i'd be booking it to the closest clinic to get every sti test available...
ned_schneebley 0
haha shiiiit. ass milk is right. #11
Tehalon 0
Whats wrong with sleeping with hobo's?? They are human too, some of them chose to be a hobo and others became a hobo because of mistakes they made in life. When i was little i always wanted to become a hobo when i grew old :(
Canuck 0
you had sex with some guy you hardly knew and it turns out he wasn't the man of your dreams.. poor girl..... fml? fhl.... he needs to get checked out asap cause there is no telling what your carrying
veren_enkeli 0
Ah, you're fu'ed. I hope you don't contract aids.
capnpaco 0
Well, if you don't want to sleep with homeless people, probably best to talk to him enough beforehand to determine he isn't homeless. "So what do you do?" might be a good start. Sucks that he ate all your food. Aside from that, "Did you use protection?" and "Was the sex good?" are really the only relevent questions.
Vagabones 0
In this economy, it shouldn't come as a shock.
ak725 0
Yeah, good luck with the HIV test. Hope you pass!
youreawhore 0
... What's up with everyone thinking all hobos have some sort of sexually transferred disease? ANYONE can have them, so it's probably better to get yourself checked after having sex with a extremely hot and flirtatious person, rather than someone who is very unlikely to get much sex >__> Also, if he was attractive, it doesn't matter too much, right?
EffYoLife 14
It's not about hobos having diseases. It's the fact that if he so easily has sex with a stranger and she so easily had sex with a stranger, no telling how often they do that. Therefore, they're both nasty skeezers and need std tests.