Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
mtrem225 0
Oh, and you have syphilis now. FYL
loopy_fml 0
Times are tough. He got what he needed.
12frisbees 0
5, 10, 21 & 30: Right on. I agree completely. Who cares what the person does or if they have a home if you were just looking for a one-night stand anyways? You didn't get hurt, you may not have contracted anything, and you posed exactly the same risk you would have posed if that person did have a roof to sleep under. The assumption that just because someone is homeless means they're dangerous or gross is infuriating. In my opinion, the OP was being very insensitive. And to 25 who said there are no homeless women, there are actually many of them and it's the fastest-growing group within the homeless population. They just not as visible -- possibly because people like you talk about using them for sex, and they realize they face a very high risk of sexual assault and stay relatively hidden because of it.
blackdogassault 0
How the hell could you now know he was a bum? He was clean and well-dressed? That sounds so damn weird....
thisismyname_fml 1
You brought a total stranger into your apartment. be happy all he did was steal food and not stab you. then go get tested asap.
Hjr88 0
wow talk about loose change.
faygo19 0
If you every ask yourself am i a ****...just look back at this memory and realize you are. You cannot ever get mad at someone saying this ever again. SLUTTTTTTT
iluvpink10 0
I Agree you are a ****!!!!!!
kiltedwolf 0
Ah well, like they say, "ya pays ya money and ya takes ya chances."
lifesabit 0
Today I read a fml about a women who bumped uglies with a homeless dude.... but then I realzed that hopeless people were getting laid more than me.... fml.
shorgenfunkel 0
In the grand scheme of things, it's probably LESS likely that a hobo would carry an STD.