Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (238)
amirn86 0
#53 - that's not true, sadly. At least in Detroit it's not. I work in Infectious Diseases in a hospital downtown, and of the patients that I've seen that have STDs (at least the more damaging ones like AIDS or syphilis) many of them are homeless. To be fair, not all of them contracted AIDS through sex though, many cases were because they shared needles. Doesn't mean the OP wouldn't be screwed if she slept with one of them lol. The other reason we have so many homeless here is that they closed down the mental institutions, so all the schizos were left out in the street. That being said, not all homeless people look/smell/act/are like the patients I see in the hospital. Has anyone seen "The Pursuit of Happyness"? If not, it might make you change your opinion on the homeless. But I have to agree, how could you possibly just sleep with a random person you met?
alex_vik 1
That's what you get for being a *****.
legendbyday 0
you have AIDS now
roflmaonade 2
so what's the fml? were you planning to keep this guy a **** buddy then realized he doesn't have a phone that you can contact him with on your in-need nights? you could always have a pickup point, down the street, corner of 5th every thursday night. no fml needed
ilikerainbows 0
I think it should read like this: Today, I had to have sex with this ugly chick I met outside a club near the alley I live in just so I could have a bed to sleep in and some food to eat for a night. FML Of course, we won't see that on here though because he doesn't have a home let alone a ******* computer and internet connection. You degraded yourself because you're a desperate idiot, no need to degrade him for his misfortune. And #55 is right on. Shameful you'd offer him your cooch but not some genuine help.
fudgefingers 0
FAKE - Hasn't anyone else watched Arrested Development?
neonoodle 0
in her defense, it's often hard to tell the difference between smelly hobos and ironic hipsters.
life_is_a_hooker 0
HAHAHA Too bad I don't believe it... If it's true, how in the world didn't you tell by how badly he surely smelled?!
beernotchurch 0
it was probably just a squatter kid. they're usuaully young and they tend to just seem like dirty punk kids than actually homeless.
lifepwns 0
This is total BS.