Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
The irony in this FML and the description makes me want to clip my own toenails before this happens to me.
lalatookasheema 8
I don't think "Floridians" are the only ones who wear flip flops.
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Comments (125)
awebb21 7
The stories that come up these days on the news.
TheLoneWandererX 2
If you lived in the Wasteland toenails would be the least of your worries.....
mtrrace 4
They jinxed you!
jakk_mehoff 4
coincidence, I think not!
sruhhvalo 5
They should come with a warning! :o haha
perdix 31
I know a lot of workplaces ban open-toed shoes under the flimsy pretext of safety. The real reason is that many people have ugly-ass feet with hairy toes and fungus-infested nails that no one wants to see or smell.
TheDrifter 24
And the people with the nastiest feet are the ones that feel the need to show them off.
vulpixvixen24 7
I don't wear flip flops because I can't be bothered to change my shoes when I get ready to drive. I can't drive in flip flops. Or sandals. But I'm pretty ******* good at it in heels. My feet aren't bad looking, and when my parents take me somewhere, I tend to go with the weather. The plastic on the flip flop can easily burn your foot.
IOmnomHard 10
You TOEtally deserved it!
whatsup215 0
You "nailed" it
Hershey903 5
Need me to call a toe truck?
DarkDaedalus009 8
Thats impossible!!
courtz94 24
I've done this before! I feel your pain OP.
Lockjaw2k 5
As have I. Hurts like a motherfml.
turtlegrl66 11
Sometimes my toenails come off when I'm wearing thongs, too.
legitkitty 11
I said " what the ****?!" when I saw that comment. Then I realized in some places, flip flops are called "things" just like in the old days :D well old to me anyways
perdix 31
Ha, when I'm wearing thongs, sometimes my balls pop out.
legitkitty 11
Oh shit * thongs! Damn you auto-correct!
Tidus0 17
Haha yup in Australia thongs are what mericans and britts call flip flops.
skullofdarkness 18
If flip flops are thongs, then what are thongs? O.o
jetsown08 21
So then what do you Australians call what we call thongs?
owlfeatures 8
G-strings? On "never mind the buzzcocks" they had this conversation :) not sure if it was right tho
Lockjaw2k 5
Up-The-Butts
downtime 13
We Australians call thongs thongs. Silly American... Yes G-Strings is correct.