Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
The irony in this FML and the description makes me want to clip my own toenails before this happens to me.
lalatookasheema 8
I don't think "Floridians" are the only ones who wear flip flops.
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Comments (125)
Pandacupcakelove 26
*Dun-Dun-Dunnnnn!* (dramatic music) Irony, you scary! D:
Hasmo 0
Sid you know that in Australia we call them thongs? Karmas a bitch
tisvana20 6
Well I hate to break it to you, but you toetally deserved it for flipping the media the bird and deciding that you would nail those shoes. Too bad your walking was too floppy and it ended up ripping you a new one. Never mind, those things are hard.
Foxington_ 0
Yo bidness
Dunvanation 4
Did you know pizza was invented in Greece?
redmonkey224539 9
Flip flop is the dumbest thing to call them, their called thongs
The_F3rris 11
Don't melt away whats left of your brain cells in a tanning bed.
s0ulslack 20
You can subconsciously make shit happen, you WANTED your toe nail gone
vulpixvixen24 7
Nice going, genius. I knew about the dangers of flip-flops when my best friend nearly lost his toe after he stepped on a rusty nail sticking out of the ground in one.
TheNewGuy03 29
Theoretically, that sort of thing can happen to anyone, including people with regular shoes. There are plenty of dependent factors, such as how you step on the nail, and at what angle. Throughout my life, I've seen people have nails poked into the bottom of their feet, and you would think that their high-tech, expensive shoes would protect them. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
bubo_fml 11
Use duct tape over the toes...Problem solved!