Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
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Top comments
sjks 0
i think saving a life might be a reward
haweb 0
agree with everyone else. So you had to deal with an unappealing part of your job. I think it's worth it if it means saving someone's life.
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Comments (128)
ct2k7 4
@68, protocol is same here in uk
shooter308 0
Next time use his shirt. Put it over his mouth, then do "rescue breathing". It doesn't give a good seal, but it'll do until you can get a mask or EMS shows up. This way, if he pukes, you wont get as much awesomeness as you did. I've seen this... I've done this...
ChronicFAIL 0
Of course. Cover the mouth. That way, when he coughs up whatever was blocking his throat, it can just fall right back down and get stuck again. *******. Genius. o_O
Yasa_fml 0
To #89 What do you think happens if they're using a BVM or a pocket mask?
shooter308 0
Alright fucknut, he cleared the airway of the foreign object, then started "CPR" (hopefully only ventilations since it sounds like he as a pulse). The shirt idea comes after securing his airway, you dumb shit. I don't even believe this one anyway. He says he brought him back with "CPR", when it sounds like artificial ventilations where all he did. Not very many people come back after "layperson" CPR, and if someone does say it happened (spontaneous respirations/pulse and fully alert and oriented) they are ******* lying.
rach_magoo 0
I hope that has taught you to carry a pocket mask at all times!
Niceplace 0
YDI for not knowing how to CPR proprely, if he threw up it's because you sent air in his belly, not in his lungs..
shooter308 0
Totally. Open the airway first.
muffinsareyummy 1
you just saved a man's life. what were you expecting, you selfish bitch? YDI.
cornsnake 0
atleast you saved him. im sure he is gratefull. and #84 he did not want anything in return. its just that wouldn't you hate having someone elses puke in your mouth? if you dont i think i will have to take what that dude did and do it in the toilet.
wajalama 0
oh well, you were just doing your job, right? Yeah, you would be disgusted, but at least he was grateful towards you for saving his life. Unless he was an asshole. Then, you should have shove that thing back down his throat lol.
ChronicFAIL 0
Perhaps a gay hero.. I rofl at that idea. :D
Immune2ice 0
Well that can happen when your giving CPR. You shouldn't be expecting any reward or anything. Sides if your trained in CPR you should know vomit could come.
3n1gma_fml_fml 0
That often happens with CPR, you should have expected it. You also should have had something between your mouths. You're a bad nurse.
comadank 0
haven't you heard of body substance isolation