Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sjks 0
i think saving a life might be a reward
haweb 0
agree with everyone else. So you had to deal with an unappealing part of your job. I think it's worth it if it means saving someone's life.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
sugarspyce 0
You are a nurse, yet you do not know how to do CPR properly. If you did CPR properly, you wouldn't make him vomit.
ninja4life 0
stop giving her crap everyone she saved a life and by the way the reward was being able to say i saved a life today.
iplayrugby18 11
Maybe next time you'll know to tilt his chin more so less air goes into his stomach causing him to vomit...but you would know that since you're a nurse...well maybe not. Enjoy your vomit. By the way what did he have for lunch?
mollytamale 1
That was really nice of you
Chopperman_fml 0
First: WTF? He was just lying in the street, and nobody cared? Singapore, man... that's a crazy place, if recent FMLs are to be trusted. Second: "I saved a man's life today, FML." is not cool. Don't nurses deal with disgusting things on a daily basis, anyway? Were you gracious enough to overlook the vomit part and focus on the life-saving part, this would be a nice MLIG. ...it'd be funny to see an FML by the guy you saved: "Today, I choked and fell unconscious in the street. A man gave me CPR and saved my life. I now have to live with the fact that a man kissed me. FML."
teiso_fml 0
You probably saved a guy's life. That beats a mouthful of vomit. I mean, I guess you should get yourself checked out to make sure you didn't catch anything, but other than that, I agree with #100. If you KNEW beforehand he would vomit in your mouth, would you still have done mouth-to-mouth or would you have just let him die? I would think you'd have still done mouth-to-mouth. Or at least I hope you would have. So I don't think it's really a big deal.
nanoh_b 0
they teach you in CPR class that this might happen!
ladiesman14 0
i only give cpr to hot girls. i also give PPR too Penis Pulmonary ReAssitation.
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Vomit is a common thing when reviving someone with CPR. You should know that as a nurse.
Livinjoke 0
As a nurse you should have known that he.was gonna puke after you gave him CPR